Hopefully, one day you will find a lady who will let you put your penis inside her, free of charge. In the event that that happens, here is a flowchart to help …

It’s not a slutty wedding dress. It’s a slut in a wedding dress.

Some things are better left unchanged.

An oldie but a goodie.

Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is trying to protect his neck from sunburn.

“Yet another fanboy.”

It’s a trap!

Or better yet, “How Twilight should have started.”

You just got toadse’d.

This must be somewhere in Eastern Colorado.

I will tag this NSFW just in case.